When They Say “Let Me Go”

The first time I left my first born, I cried. Uncertainty filled my heart as I kissed her forehead and said good-bye. I said a lot of good-byes to my four kids as I headed off to work, out with friends and on dates with their dad. Let’s be honest, there are times we can’t wait to get out the door and leave them with anyone that will take care of them while we take some time regain our mom-life-sanity before we come home to those sweet kisses and hugs that last a lifetime.

Leaving them is a whole lot easier than when they leave us. They grow up. I mean really grow up. My empty nest is their next adventure.  Instead of staying up late waiting for them to return home by curfew, you go to bed on time and sleep like a baby. Maybe.

There is a new word out there for this moment in life – they call it adulting.  My son is just getting started. But my three girls, they are in the middle of newlywed life, first-borns and first mortgages.

“Naomi said to her, ‘Go ahead my daughter.’” Ruth 2:7

Naomi and Ruth shared a special bond. A mother-daughter relationship full of love, loyalty, and a longing to stay connected. Oh how we long to stay connected to our children as they grow. Naomi paints a beautiful picture of a selfless mother love when she tells Ruth, her daughter-in-law to go.

A little back story about Naomi and Ruth before I get into how and why you should let your children go. Their bond was created by love and hardship, and centered on God. Naomi lost her husband, endured a famine and left home with her two sons only to bury them as well. When she decided to return home, she urged her daughters-in-law to remain in their homeland. One did, and there is nothing wrong with that. But Ruth’s was determined to stay. And she did.

Ruth promised Naomi, “wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people and our God will be my God.” (Ruth 1:16) So they returned to Naomi’s homeland.

This is where it gets tough for our mom hearts.  Ruth, a perfect picture of a committed daughter who, up until this point, clung to the comfort of her mother, was given the opportunity to start her own life anew. Don’t forget, as much as Naomi comforted her daughter, Ruth stayed close to her widowed mother. They were committed to each other and to God.

A new life, away from mom? It’s a scary thing, but one day it comes for our children. And it keeps coming with every big adulting decision they must make without us. Relationships, jobs, finances cross-country moves, babies, and the list goes on.

“Naomi said to her, ‘Go ahead my daughter.’” Ruth 2:7

Naomi said “go.” She knew in her God-seeking momma heart that when Ruth said, “let me go…” (Ruth 2:2), she must.

It meant time apart, but it was more than that. It was her daughter’s future. And who of us moms don’t want the best for our children?

We can glean some important mom-tips from Naomi about how to handle it when they come and say,”Let me go.”

• First, they need to see you following God, so they will follow too. Ruth was committed to God because she witnessed and experienced the faith of her mother-in-law.
• Cling to God for your own comfort, not your children. From the time they are little, our children fill our hearts with joy, (and sometimes not joy.) The point is, our life will get tough and we’ve got to make sure we find our identity and comfort in Christ. Naomi was in a hard place herself. Widowed and wondering what’s next she did not lose faith. She could have cried. “don’t go, don’t leave me.” But she didn’t. Her faith is what gave her hope, and for Ruth as well.
• Have a discerning heart. Not everything your children want to go and do is okay. Naomi knew where she was going was a place where the Lord was at work. Just remember, the Lord’s work in the lives of our children isn’t necessarily what we would choose for them. But if it is HIS work, there is nothing better.
• They need your encouragement and prayer. Throughout Ruth’s time away discovering God’s plan for her life, Naomi took notice of what was going on and encouraged Ruth, and prayed blessings on her. Ruth is a short book of the Old Testament. Take time to read it through and think about it from a mother’s perspective. Ruth kept coming back to Naomi because Naomi had built a trusting and loving relationship. She didn’t criticize her, hold her back or help her too much. She lifted her up to the Lord and let her go.
• Have patience and pray for wisdom. Ruth did not experience overnight success as she went out to find her way. At one point, Naomi tells Ruth, “wait my daughter, until you learn how the matter turns out…” (Ruth 3:16) Waiting is hard. Remember, it is in waiting that God is working.
• Be blessed. The story in these four short chapters ends in a blessing on Ruth and Naomi. Ruth marries, they have a son and Naomi cares for him. No doubt, her heart is filled with joy. There is no greater joy for a mother than to see her children follow the Lord and be blessed.

The blessing on our children starts with us but it is up to God. Ultimately, our children must make the choice to follow Him. We have to let them go, but we don’t have to let them go all alone.  We can’t do it for them, whatever it may be. But we can encourage and pray for them as they discover God’s unique plan for their lives. And be careful that the wisdom you impart is from God and not from the world, or our fearful momma hearts. Along the way, cling to God, not your children. Holding on may hold them back from finding their place in this world. Be patient with God, and with them. He has a plan, and it is good.