The Wisdom of a Green Wedding Dress
Here comes the bride, all dressed in green – wait a minute. Didn’t you hear? Green. I love a white wedding dress. But when my youngest daughter, her bridesmaids and I recently went shopping for the dress of her dreams, they were all sorts of colors! Don’t get me wrong, the dresses were knock-me-out beautiful. The artsy side of me loves something different and I can understand the need for something other than white. But the mom in me, wants to see my baby girl walking the aisle in white.
The truth be known, I am not sure it matters what color the wedding dress and even if a wedding “dress” is required. White stands for purity and innocence. It is the color that represents a young woman’s wait on God’s plan for marriage. White is no doubt a fitting color for the bride. But, if I had to pick another color it would be green!
Green is the color of wisdom, or at least that is what you find on Google. Why is wisdom, in developing and maintaining loving relationships, so important? First, look around, just briefly. There is no shortage of relationships and even marriages that begin and end with one foolish decision. Just one. One little step away from the wisdom of God and heartache follows. Second, the Word of God emphasizes the importance of wise choices.
The Wisdom Books of the Bible, Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon don’t always provide clear-cut answers to our questions in all circumstances. But they do give us insight to the loving character of God and His willingness to give us much needed wisdom as we grow to know Him and choose to follow Him.
Solomon gives every-day, practical advice to young people in the first nine chapters of Proverbs. Wise sayings for the young, inspired by God, from the wisest man that ever lived. Let’s dive in and look at three important truths in Proverbs that will help us make wise decisions when it comes to relationships, and love.
Rely on God first.
In the first seven verses of Proverbs, we learn why Solomon writes to us. We need to learn what is right and what is wrong. We need direction. Seems simple. But, in a world where we can find more versions of what works and doesn’t work in relationships it can be difficult to know exactly what to do when you’re trying to make decisions that will affect the rest of your life.
“Knowledge begins with respect for the Lord, but foolish people hate wisdom and discipline.” Proverbs 1:7
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” Proverbs 9:10
Proverbs makes it clear. The first step in navigating romantic love, is trust God and be obedient to his Word. You can Google, binge on episodes of girl-drama, or even ask the best intending friend, but remember it is God that has your future in His hands. What better place to go for direction than to the One that knows and loves you more than anyone!
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11
Trusting God and being obedient to his Word requires that we spend time with him. Go to God in prayer, turn open the pages of your Bible and seek his truth, and find a place where you can follow alongside others that put their hope in God.
“My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart. If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying.” Proverbs 3:1-2
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6
Finding your way through the path of single life doesn’t have to be painful or confusing. God’s ways are clear, his timing is perfect, and his love will never fail you. I encourage you to keep reading the scriptures. Rely on God’s word and his truth for the wisdom you need.
Pass the test of temptation.
The first nine chapters of Proverbs are devoted to teaching young men and women the benefits of gaining wisdom and warnings about giving in to temptation. Sometimes the immediate comfort of a foolish decision (sin) seems to be just what we need, and it satisfies us for a moment – maybe even a little longer. But what wisdom offers is lasting and one foolish choice, yes just one, can make a terrible mess.
While you are looking for love, don’t let the allure of “what feels right” get in the way of what is right. Share on X
“If you become wise, you will be the one to benefit. If you scorn wisdom, you will be the one to suffer.” Proverbs 9:12
It’s not always easy to stay on the right, or the wise, path. How do you do it? How do you remain in Christ, and resist all the love traps that lead to foolish decisions? It’s a matter of protecting your heart.
“Above all else, guard you heart. Everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23
Everything we do flows from our heart. Let’s do a heart check. Do the choices we make in relationships flow from a heart that is seeking God, or from our own desires? As I look online and research “guard your heart”, it clearly has become a catch phrase for “don’t do anything foolish.” But we don’t always realize what foolish is, unless we also strengthen our heart.
Strengthen your heart by seeking a daily relationship with Christ. Talk with him in prayer, listen for his voice speaking to your heart and rely on the scriptures to teach you. His words and his Word will comfort you and keep you on the right path.
“All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.” 2 Timothy 3:16
Listen to advice. Good advice. Godly advice.
Relying on God first, seeking wisdom, turning from temptation, guarding your heart – It’s a lot to take in. Only God knows it all, but we are encouraged to learn from others. You can’t do it alone and God didn’t intend for you to.
“My child, listen when your father corrects you, do not neglect your mother’s instruction. What you learn from them will crown you with grace and be a chain of honor around your neck.” Proverbs 1:8
Before I keep encouraging you to listen to the wisdom of your parents, I understand that many young men and women have grown up in broken homes, with no father or mother to lovingly discipline or teach. You might be questioning the love of your father or mother and their role in guiding you. Perhaps you’ve had no one to consistently discipline or teach you right from wrong. There is hope.
When the disciples wanted to learn to pray they asked Jesus, and he told them “When you pray, say: Father…” Luke 11:2. Hope is in our heavenly father. He has all the answers. Back to point number one – rely on God first. If your follow Him, your hope is in Him and you are His child.
Even as children of the One with all the answers, we need other people to share in our journey. There are people, if not your parents, that have successfully walked in your shoes. Chances are they didn’t get it all right the first time, but God is good at developing wisdom and teaching his truths to us along life’s journey. It is good to have wise friends or a mentor to help you and encourage you as you seek God in making wise choices. Especially when it comes to relationships.
Relationships are tough. As you grow closer to God, you will find that some friendships are not as strong as others. Then, there is always that one friendship, that must end. It is part of guarding your heart.
“My friends, if sinners entice you, turn your back on them!” – Proverbs 1:10
The verses that follow Proverbs 1:10 are serious warnings about following the foolish person that makes enticing, but empty promises. Read them. Take God’s word seriously. The wisdom He offers is far better than any quick fix or thoughtless scheme.
It seems like common sense, seek God, resist temptation, do what is right, and surround yourself with wise people. But somehow in the chaos of searching for Mr. Right, it is easy to find yourself in the middle of a whole lot of wrong. As you read Proverbs, think about what choices you are making. Remember God’s grace allows us to turn around and turn to Him.
As a mom to three daughters and one son, I pray they seek and ask for wisdom as they seek God’s will in their single, dating, engaged and one-day married life. It is my prayer for you too! It’s not an easy journey, but it is well worth the rewards God has in store for you. I have seen the struggle of many young men and women, including my own. We are imperfect, love-seeking, mistake-making souls. But we have a perfect, loving, all-knowing God to guide us. Keep going back to Him. His arms are wide open to accept you and guide you in all things.